If anyone watched the trailer, they would see 3 notable characters. Jonah Hex (Josh Brolin), Lilah (Megan Fox), and Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich) and from what was shown, it seemed Jonah and Lilah were going to be heavily involved with each other fighting the bad guys and stuff. It was great news for Megan Fox fans and people in search of fan service... because that's exactly what Megan did the whole movie... fan service. Not only did she not have any influence on the story, every scene she was involved in was a huge chunk of debauchery in your face. The first scene she appears in shows her sorting her dress out (apparently from some bed rocking) while her John tries to persuade her to join him and live together. She denies obviously and takes some money. Yes she's a prostitute... Oh you already knew that? Well apparently she only cares for Jonah, she'll still sleep with others to make a living but Jonah gets it free. Another scene shows her whilst in a struggle being hit once,just once, landing on a bed, yes a bed, with her ass pointing towards the audience and then moaning. Those were two of the countable scenes she had in the movie. Doesn't she feel the slightest bit used? Oh wait, this is the girl in Jennifer's Body we're talking about. It makes me wonder if Megan Fox really IS like the roles she plays in the movies. She certainly enjoys playing them. Come on people, don't go for a movie just because she's in it.
Like all western movies, I always look out for any black guys. Half way through the movie, I was beginning to wonder if there were any, thinking maybe they didn't have any due to sensitive issues with slavery and the confederacy n stuff but oh! What do you know! There IS a black guy in the movie! He's the shady underground dealer that sells Jonah his weapons! How fitting for a black man's role! Yes he presented Jonah with dynamite launchers that he used along with other weapons that he only uses once. Like that idea for two machine guns placed on the sides of a horse, although it was cool to see, how the hell did he manage to hide them and whats even more mind boggling is how the horse was able to carry those two machine guns along with Jonah AND drag 3 corpses along with it. Horse pills? It was sad that we only got to see machine guns once in the entire movie, except maybe for the weapon of mass destruction that Quentin Turnbull built, which made no sense either.
Is it me? or am I wrong when I say that cannon balls don't explode?(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannon) Apparently they do in this movie, at least that would be the logical explanation for firing 6 rounds of cannon fire before firing a final explosive ball. The WMD used in this movie was basically a "machine cannon" which fires cannon balls like firing a machine gun except at a relatively slower rate. He went through a lot of trouble to build that thing, wouldn't it have been easier to just hijack a warship with lots of cannons seeing as how he planted that machine on top of ship anyway?
One last thing, what the hell was that with the smoking Native Americans? These guys show up when Jonah goes through a near-death experience. 'Healing' you tell me? That didn't look like healing to me. They blew some weed in his face so that he started dreaming and stuff. That's called getting high on this planet. The scene seemed rather nostalgic but then I realized that this scene is just repeating the explanation of how he came to be with his powers but this time it happened again. It's how he actually survived his first near-death experience and now that it's happened again, the Indians decided to smoke some pot and blow it in his face again, I mean they made a frigging crow come out of his mouth. It was funny seeing him wake up in a scream and then suddenly strutting on his horse towards Turnbull.
I could write more but this post is getting too long. All in all this was an attempt to attract simple minds into watching another trash of Hollywood movie. Seriously, if you thought that this movie was a good movie then I can't accept you to be an intelligent individual. If you like Megan Fox in bed scenes and simple gun fights along with the occasional explosion then this is the movie for you, otherwise stay away from this example of Hollywood crap. Let me know what you think. COMMENT PLEASE.
